Sunday, March 1, 2015

Welcome Back

In early 2013 l wrote the first draft of a novel. With the working title of "Fighter, Mage, Thief", it comprised 5 handwritten notebooks of text, or about 130,000 words. I've reeotto become interested in expanding the story, and to that end I've created a new world map, and I've started creating not 1 but 4 contangs.

Because Betemause going back to university I don't think that the 2nd draft will be completed any time this year. But I'm happy to begin afresh, They do say that you should let your first draft sit and stew before returning to it. Well, 2 years seems like a good stewing tine to me

Saturday, September 4, 2010

Del Toro casts Tom Cruise in At the Mountains of Madness

At first I was like: hmmm. But then I was like: okay, whatever.

Tom Cruise is not an inherently bad actor, and update films staring him are not inherently bad. War of the Worlds was actually okay. The Mission Impossible films were also pretty cool. I think the problem here is two-fold: (1) Fark Movie-goerstm don't see that Cruise's personal lifes craziness never compromises his competency as an actor; and (2) you need to let go of the notion that At the Mountains of Madness is going to be a pure adaptation of the original.

MoM was written almost a century ago, at a time when the geography of the antartic was almost completely unknown. A lot of HPL's atmosphere of dread was extrapolated from that fact alone. In 2010, we have not only mapped the whole surface of the continent, we have penetrated the ice with ultrasound and radar images from space. It's not an unknown place to us. In as far as we still find it scary, the reason is because it's uninhabited and oh-so-cold. Dead cities and shoggoths? Sadly, no possibility.

If I were Del Toro, I'd be making this a history piece, kind of like Jackson's King Kong. Sure, we know this place doesn't exist in the real world, but we'd be happy to watch Cruise in a waist coat and woolen overcoat autopsy the Old Ones and follow the shrill cry of the shoggoths to the valley beyond mount Erebus. And there I would diverge from the original tale.

See, MoM didn't have a lot to film. You could make a short film of maybe 45 minutes about it, but no way could you fill a feature length pic with two geologists wandering around cold and ancient stone passageways studying heiroglyphs. At least, you couldn't do it in a way that would get enough bums on seats to turn a profit on the investment. No, my bet is that we'll see not only shoggoths, but also deep ones (who don't belong), and Old Ones capturing some hot yound chick from the party, just to give the protagonists something to go after. And the shoggoth will be different.

At the end of MoM, we finally read about a living shoggoth, barrelling up an ancient hallway, pulverising albino penguins in its wake. It's really the one true monster horror of the whole story. You can't pull that off in film, even if you're Del Toro. Expect a pseudo intellectual action flick with shoggoths and lots of snow. Expect a three act structure with conflict between party members and a girl who needs saving. Expect more than just the one shoggoth. Just don't expect a retelling of the MoM story that is even 10% as faithfull as the Lord of the Rings movies.

In my opinion, if I wanted to see MoM as HPL intended, I'd just re-read MoM. If I want my wife to get a foothold in the Mythos (and I do, but she reads too much bloody Jodi Picoult), then I'd take her to Del Toro's version of MoM.

And I'll enjoy it too.

Thursday, April 23, 2009

The Webby Awards: My Picks

The om-nom-nominees for this years Webby Awards have been announced, and in the great tradition of all last-minute journalist I present my favorites for the interestingnets night of nights.

Category: Activism
My pick: Rock the Vote
Reason: It's been a long while since I thought of myself as a "young person", but I support the idea of a website that encourages "young people" to vote in USA elections. They have recently proven their ability to upset the status quo in electing Barack Obama, who I would have voted for if I were a "young person" in the USA.

Category: Art
My pick: Live Hope Love
Reason: Basically, this was the one site I found least annoying to view. It's Jamaican, it's photographic, there are poems about holding your dick in your hand.

There are a million categories. I'll cut a long story short.

Category: Games Related
My pick: The Escapist
Reason: Yahtzee. That is all.

fark.com wasn't nominated, though that was the website I spent the most time on in '08/'09. A moral win there.

Don't forget to vote. I did.

Wednesday, April 8, 2009

Movie Review: The Call of Cthulhu (2005)

H P Lovecraft could reasonably claim to be the founding father of the 20th century horror story. His writings have influenced artists like Stephen King, Umberto Eco, Neil Gaiman and rock band Metallica. The Call of Cthulhu, first published in 1928 and arguably his most famous story, has been lovingly adapted for the screen by the H P Lovecraft Historical Society. The movie, clocking in at a frugal 47 minutes, was made by fans for fans. Long considered to be "unfilmable" by Hollywood (the same thing was said about Watchmen), this microbudget adaptation contains some fantastic performances and one of the boldest filmmaking descisions I've seen in a 21st century production. 2005s The Call of Cthulhu is a silent picture.

A young paleontologist becomes the executor to his great uncles will, and begins to read the dead man's files about a series of mysteries that happened in mach of 1925. First, an artist has disturbing dreams about a sunken city of alien architecture, and then he goes mad and gets committed. Then the story skips back 20 years, to a chance encounter with a police man who raided a strange cult in the bayous of Louisiana, seizing from them an idol of a winged god with an octopus for a head. By chance, the protagonist reads on a scrap of newspaper about a ship foundering in the south Pacific, one crew member having gone mad and another dead, the rest missing. Taking matters into his own hands and presumably blowing his life savings, the protagonist travels to Norway to speak with the widow of the mad sailor and finds the final piece of the puzzle, a diary about a chance landing on the shores of R'Lyeh (think Atlantis from the Dark Side), and the realease of the titular Great Old One from His tomb of aeons.

The movie shines with good cinematography and great make up that sells the idea that this was made shortly after the story was written, then some how got lost for more than 80 years. It never strays far from the source material, making it the most faithful adaptation of any work of Lovecraft's. It never actually scares, but then the Cthulhu mythos stories were never about thrills, instead aiming for an intellectual horror stemming from a high concept question: if vastly powerful alien beings once walked the Earth, how would the puny minds of humans deal with it? the answer is a pessimistic "we'd go crazy and our brains would asplode."

The central gimmick of a silent picture helps The Call of Cthulhu immensly. Whatever Lovecraft's strengths as a writer may have been, dialouge wasn't one of them. Mealy mouthed snippits of ancient lore like:
That is not dead which can eternal lie,
And with strange aeons even death may die. . .
... could only work if you read it straight off a title card. Hearing an actor saying these words would, at best, make the movie unbearable. At worst it'd be like watching some one else play Dungeons and Dragons.

The no name cast of actors work well in the silent format, emoting well and helping further to sell the idea of a lost classic from a Hollywood silver age that never was.

The special effects are competent most of the way through with creative, if anachronistic, use of matte chroma key to re-create a 1920s era Rhode Island. The swamp scene with the cultist is one of the best set pieces, with the sound, talent and exquisite scale model sets working together to evoke something remeniscent of the oiginal King Kong. But it is rather let down when the true star of the picture finally hauls his green rubbery butt out of his cthonian tomb. While I don't begrudge the filmmaker's descion to bring Cthulhu to the screen using stop motion, I do wish the model maker hadn't made Him so tubby about the waist. They have heard of "less is more," but in this instance I think they should of gone for "even less is more better". The matte chroma key also suffers from some bad lighting during production, so that when the image is composited the actors have a weird buzzing aura and an obviously fake prescence that detracts severely from what would other wise have been a truely stirring R'Lyeh sequence.

To sum up, if you like anything about the Cthulhu mythos (indeed, if you've even heard of it), then you should give The Call of Cthulhu a go. It's only a little bit longer than most of the dross on TV and on the whole is entertaining. Obviously if you are a rabid fan of Lovecraft already then this movie is essential for you o own; indeed, you probably already own it and honestly I don't understand why you're bothering to read this review.

I award The Call of Cthulhu 10 shuddering tentacles.

Friday, April 3, 2009

SO ANYWAY

Review of The Strangers (2008)

If you say that your film is based on true events it does a lot toward building an atmosphere, and you don't have to do much to prove that any of it is actually true. The Amityville Horror did it, Texas Chainsaw Massacre did it, and in the wake of two mediocre remakes of the aforementioned at least last years creep fest The Strangers did it; with an original script by writer/director Bryan Bertino. I wracked my mighty brain thinking of a horrid murder than might come within an acre of the gruesome encounter depicted in The Strangers and the nearest I came was the Helter Skelter killing of Sharon Tate at the hands of the Manson Family in 1969, and even then the only similarity I could think of was the writing-on-the-wall gimmick and the fact that it was and utterly sensless crime for which the perpretrators give no satisfying explaniation.

There all similarities to reality end and The Strangers forges ahead in the virgin waters of its own reality, with a kitchen knife at its prow. We are quickly introduced to the akward couple we are to root for, in the guises of James (Scott Speedman) and Kristen (Liv Tyler); Poor old Jimmy has proposed to Kristen and been turned down, the poor sod, and while we watch them try to work out whether that spells doom for their relationship (coitus interuptus), a weird chick knocks on the door and heralds a night of terror for the couple that predicably ends with Tyler professing her love for the bloodied up Speedman.

Everything that follows is a perfectly executed exercise in terror, grabbing the "home invasion" gland of the brain and waggling it until it breaks. I think it is most bold in that it never attempts to give us an explanation to the murders; indeed, you never get to glimpse the faces behind those creepy masks. Hollywood spends so much time feeding us answers from the baby food pot of plot, my only fear is that Universal will commision a sequel to answer our questions. I hope the film is never so succesful, because on its on, by its own rules, it is perfect.

I look forward to the stageplay version.

Tuesday, October 28, 2008

When We Were Young

I grew up when computer data was measured in bits and bytes. The mobile phone I currently use has more memory than my first computer (a Commodore 64), which in turn was more powerful than the computers that plotted the trajectories of the Apollo missions to the moon. Let me take you back...

In 1988 I was living with my mum and her partner in a suburb of Brisbane called McDowell. we were renting the place, a fact that my friends never let us forget. I had friends from up the street, two boys my own age, who thought they could take my bike and ride it whenever they wanted, because "renting" to them meant we didn't own anything. I wonder at the elitist bullshit their parents let slip to give their kids such an elitist view. They'd probably voted for Sir Joh.

My dad worked for Telecom, which would become Tesltra in later years when the government sold it off. He drove around and picked us up once a fortnight and we spent a weekend with him. On my birthday in that year he brought us a Commodore 64 and a handfull of games to play on it. There were cartriges that plugged into the back of the unit like the game cartriges of later consoles like the Sega Mastersystem, and there was a cassette drive that read bits and bytes recorded on an ordinary cassette and decoded them into computer programs that woulod run in the machines 64 k RAm drive. It was an 8 bit system with one advantage over the consoles of the early nineties: you could use it to program your own games, if you had the know how.

BASIC was the programming language built into the C64. The first program I wrote for the machin ran exactly as follows:

10 PRINT "MY NAME IS DAVID"
20 GOTO 10

This program resulted in the following screen printout in cyanon dark blue:

MY NAME IS DAVID
MY NAME IS DAVID
MY NAME IS DAVID
MY NAME IS DAVID
MY NAME IS DAVID
MY NAME IS DAVID
MY NAME IS DAVID

... and onward ad infinitum. It was an infinite loop you could stop by tapping the "Run Stop" key. I had a lot of fun trying different sentences with the same programming syntax. when my parents weren't home, I programmed vulgar things. If you put a semicolon at the end of the PRINT command, it would fill the whole screen. That was how I ended up with:

SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT

... onwards and onwards. I was only eight, after all.

The games I played were simple by todays standards, my favorites being "Wizard of Wor" in which you shot demons in a maze of ever elabourating difficulty, and such clasics as "Frogger" and "Dig Dug". Recently I completed "Assasins Creed" on the XBox 360. There was nothing so complicated back when I was a kid. The most elaborate game I ever played on the C64 was called "Echelon", about exploring the tenth planet of the solar system, called Isis, in a space ship. Todays "sandbox" games of total freedom like Grand Theft Auto and Spiderman 2 are probably the closest analogisms to Echelon. You flew about on this alien planet with wire frame graphics (this was long before the filled in polygons of the VGA rennaissence), shooting space pirates and solving cyphers. It seemed so deep at the time. give it to me now, I'd finish it in an afternoon.

I played "Samantha Foxx Strip Poker" in 1991, when I was in Norway. I was eleven then. Samantha was redered in 8 bit map, starting out dressed in a heavy coat, with a hat, and sunglasses, and you played five card stud to get her nekkid. The game was unrated. In 1991, they didn't rate toys like video games. games like "Samantha Foxx Strip Poker" slowly filtered into the awareness of governors, and a rating and classification system was set up. The average age of computer users was probably below 20ish.

I have the internet now. If I do a google video search for "Strip Poker" i end us with more mind blowing stuff than was ever rendered in 2 bit, or even could be. I dare say the average 11 year old today can run such a search, can probably work out his parents password to unblock the family filter as well. Shit, i daresay any kid could find shit that would make ME blush, and I've frelling DONE that shit.

The attorney general of SA thinks we don't need an R18+ classification for video games. I say we've always needed one, but it is only now with the latest crop of games that the need has become unignorable. Cr Atkinson should snap out of it. It isn't 1988 anymore.

Wednesday, May 28, 2008

Warning: Images



Henson is esteemed for his consistency of vision and artistic sincerity, never deviating from his poetic invention through the several tides of fashionable theory that have washed away the integrity of visual language in contemporary art.

The Age, Entertainment, April 27 2005 (link)
DETECTIVES converged on a Sydney art gallery today as they investigated whether photographs of naked children, which were to go on display last night, contravene any laws.

News.com.au, News Limited, May 23 2008 (link)

PHOTOGRAPHS of naked underage girls at a Sydney art exhibition shut down by police are revolting and have no artistic merit, Prime Minister Kevin Rudd says.

The Australian, May 23 2008 (link)

KEVIN Rudd's handpicked arts mentor Cate Blanchett yesterday co-signed an open letter urging the Prime Minister to rethink his public comments about artist Bill Henson's work.

Blanchett, co-chair of the Creative Australia group at last month's 2020 Summit, was joined by other summiteers including Nobel Prize-winning writer John Coetzee, Museum of Contemporary Art director Elizabeth Ann Macgregor and economist Saul Eslake in expressing dismay at last Friday's raid on Henson's exhibition at the Roslyn Oxley9 Sydney gallery.

The Australian, May 28 2008 (link)


Bill Henson